I took on the name "The Fleshcanvas" when I was 18 years old. So, that would make it 21 years ago. The name is obviously inspired by my love for body art, but what isn't obvious is how this name has always represented (for me) bodily autonomy.
Even as a teenager I was sick of being told what I could and could not do with my body. Back then I had no idea that it was a gendered issue. All I knew was that I was suffering sexual assault after sexual assault. From co workers, bosses, "friends." Everything from inappropriate groping to literal rape.
That's all the detail I can stomach sharing for today. I just wanted to write for a bit about how it feels, now, to finally be free of most of that. Except for the PTSD it all caused. I'm moving forward the best way I can, working as hard as I can, going to therapy and taking my meds like a good little enby. I'm much more stable now that I'm not being antagonized every single day. In spite of everything I've been through, all of the hardship I've endured, I shall persevere, I shall and am persisting.
I shall live in spite of you. No matter how hard you tried to kill me.
